Who said anything about produce?

Hear the music, and get down with your carrot self. Check out the website www.incurable-allure.com

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Tall

Some buildings are tall
Some buildings are short

It's next to the mall
Or out on the court

But the think I love most
about high rises and quarries

is spitting into the river
from 29 stories

Sunday, July 23, 2006

The Sparrow, The Sun, and The Moon

The sparrow gingerly alighted on a branch as the sun began to peek out from over the horizon.
He cleared his throat-
"A-hm-HMM"
and coughed several times (for good measure)
He filled his lungs with air in preparation for song-
...but this morning was different

something was askew...

Because on this morning, all the sun would do was peek. That was it.
The sun brushed back the curtain of clouds ever so slightly, just to have a look...
And then decided, to hell with this whole rising and shining at six business. The sun would rather have a sleep in... maybe breakfast in bed... yes, yes that would be nice

But still the sparrow waited...

And the moon, waxing gibbous, who had not yet set, peered at the sun cautiously...
The moon was wary of change. It liked to have things set and dry, even on rainy days.
And the sun, who was not at it's best in the morning, shot the moon a fiery glance that seemed to say
"don't mess with me, bucko, I'm only running on ten hours of sleep here, and I haven't had a decent cappucino in millennia"

The moon sank a bit on the horizon, perturbed at such an outward display of passive aggressiveness.

And once more the sparrow coughed

Saturday, July 22, 2006

The seed

So this is what it's like...
The seed has been planted, it's been sewed deep into the mumbling thoughts and it's beginning to take root.
This could be a good idea...
So I went and checked out a new apartment this afternoon, and the girl there who I'd be rooming with mentioned that she'd be cool with pets, but she's allergic to cats
so I thought... I could get a dog!
And that was that, the seed was set, and it's been pushing it's shoots into the soil ever since.
It could be great! I set aside some money, and in return I'm never lonely! I could take it all around with me, it would be great...
I would definitely have to adopt... animal shelters are the way to go. Something small (ish?)
I don't know, I'd definitely want to take it for walks and things...
...I've always liked basset hounds
What am I doing? I'll get whatever animal is right for me when I find it... sure...
I find out tomorrow if it's a go for the place.
We shall see...

Thursday, July 20, 2006

The first Official Leutenant

The first official stepped up to the podium and looked.
He turned his back on them.
"No, this won't do"
"but sir-"
Johnson was always "but sirr-ing" him. He hated it. He wanted nothing to do with it. He wished that Johnson and his stupid retorts would vanish into absynthe.

"I said this won't do"
"But sir-"
There it was again
"sir, this is the last. there aren't anymore"
"Johnson, remove them. they are not up to par."
What did he care if the prime minister's caterers were not good enough? There were spots on the apples, and the pineapple seemed to be frowning at him.

"Sir, the meal is in an hour! We cannot do this!"
The head chef began to sob
"Ah am sorry, monseur! eet weel nevair happeen agaihn!"

But it would. He knew it would. As first official leutenant he had the gift of foresight, and he didn't like what he saw.
What was it with these damn cooks? Everyone knows you shouldn't serve guava on tuesday!

"Sir, Eduardo has been cooking here since he was twelve. To send him and his team to the street would be ravenously inhospitable."

a globule of spittle perched on the leutenant's bottom lip. He kept it there on purpose for the time being. He had an image to maintain.

"Sir! Ah Hav ah wahf and twelve loubstairs at hohm!"
He knew that wasn't true. The Chef had no wife.
The Chef began to sob once more. Big sloppy tears pouring over his lips onto indoor/outdoor tarmac that covered the whole facility.

The leutenant took a bite of rutabaga. It was soggy. Disgusted with himself, he swallowed it anyways, maintaining his composure.

"Sir... the souffle..."
"I Know about the souffle, Johnson!"
"Sir... Ah cahn save eet... thair ees steel taim!"

He knew how much the souffle meant to the prime minister.
"Very well... but only because you are indespensable. Never ever forget the elephant paste again, do you hear me, chef?"

"Oui, monseur!"

"Well, don't just stand there. Go save the souffle!"

"Oui!"
And the chef scuttled off to save the night.
And the leutenant new that no one would remember him for rescuing the souffle. The name that would be in the papers the next morning would be the chef's. Action was what the people wanted, no one cared about the decision makers.

"Johnson, get me a copy of tomorrow morning's paper"
"But sir-"
"Just do it, Johnson"

And the first official leutenant was left on the floor to his own devices.
He glanced at the soggy rutabaga.
That had better be a damn good souffle, or the whole country would despair by the time johnson got back...

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

The story of Akimbo

There once was a man named Akimbo. Akimbo was a stonecutter and every day traveled to the mountain near his house to cut stone. After he had cut many large heavy slabs, he would lift the gigantic slabs onto his cart and haul them to the marketplace to sell them. Sometimes he would strain his back.

This was life for Akimbo, and year after year he toiled at the mountain removing great slabs of stone and selling them for profit.

Then one day during the summer, Akimbo was tapping his chisel as the hot summer sun beat down on him, the sweat rolling off his bare back in great salty rivers, when suddenly he heard a jingle. He turned and wiped the sweat out of his eyes and there on the road was the caravan of a prince. The prince was resting on a platform that sat atop the shoulders of his slaves, he ate peeled grapes and held an umbrella above him to shield him from the sun.

“Oh, what a glorious life that would be!” thought Akimbo, for he yearned more than anything for respite from the sun.

“I wish more than anything that I were that prince with that umbrella over my head!”

And the mountain, which he’d tapped on for many years, finally revealed itself to Akimbo, and the spirit of the mountain whispered

“Then it will be so…”

And suddenly Akimbo was the prince.

He sat atop the backs of his slaves, and he had his umbrella to protect him from the sun.

And he was happy. …for a time

But then the wind came, and took Akimbo’s umbrella from him, and he was hot again. And Akimbo looked up and cursed the sun for being so hot, and he said

“I thought I was powerful as a prince, but I am not powerful! Oh, I wish I were as powerful as the sun! Then I could do anything I wanted!”

And the spirit of the mountain whispered, “Then it is so…”

And Akimbo shone brightly over the earth, giving life to the plants, parching the deserts, and heating the air. And Akimbo was happy.

…For a time

But then a great cloud came and swept over the land and Akimbo could not shine on it any longer. And Akimbo said

“What is this? Clearly I am not as powerful as a cloud, for it can prance in front of me whenever it feels! I wish I were a cloud, and more powerful than the sun!”

And so the spirit of the mountain once again smiled upon Akimbo and whispered

“Then it is so…”

And Akimbo flew across the sky creating shade and caressing the land with his rains. With his vapor he could save the land and the plants from the sun, or he could storm on them and kill everything he covered. He was a powerful cloud, and he was happy.

…for a time

And then one day, he came across a mountain and he stormed upon it, but he could not change it. And he said

“It the mountain more powerful than I? No matter what I do, it does not move! I wish I were a mountain, and more powerful than the clouds!”

And the spirit of the mountain whispered

“Then it is so…”

And Akimbo sat with his great girth, covering the ground and people were forced to build their roads and buildings around him, for he was far too big to budge. And Akimbo was a powerful mountain, and none could change him. And Akimbo was finally happy.

Until one day, when a stonecutter came upon him and he heard the distant “clink clink” of metal on metal and he looked down and said

“Mountain!”

And the great spirit replied “Yes, Akimbo?”

“How is this happening? I am a mountain! Nothing can change me am I not the most powerful thing in the world?”

“No Akimbo, You are not”

So Akimbo thought about this for a moment and considered himself.

And finally, after much thought, Akimbo spoke to the mountain…

And the next morning, Akimbo rose from his bed, ate his breakfast, took his hammer and chisel, and walked to the mountain to cut stone to sell at the market.

And he was happy.