Double Dactyls

In my stumblings across the ocean of information today, I came across a new form of poetry I'd not yet heard of.

I speak to you of the "Double Dactyls"

It goes like this:

Two stanzas, each comprising three lines of dactylic dimeter followed by a line with a dactyl and a single accent. The two stanzas have to rhyme on their last line. The first line of the first stanza is repetitive nonsense. The second line of the first stanza is somebody's name -- strictly speaking, a proper noun. Note that this name must itself be double-dactylic. E.g. Gloria Vanderbilt, Jesus of Nazareth, Gilbert and Sullivan, Archangel Gabriel. In the second stanza, one entire line must be a double-dactylic word. E.g. biopsychology, geopolitical, gastrointestinal, abecedarian, etc. etc.


Yeah! I tried writing one, it kicked my ass. However, here are a few I liked...


Twilight's Last Gleaming

Higgeldy piggeldy,
President Jefferson
Gave up the ghost on the
Fourth of July.

So did John Adams, which
Shows that such patriots
Propagandistically
Know how to die.


Tact

"Patty cake, patty cake,
Marcus Antonius,
What do you think of the
African queen?"

"Gubernatorial
Duties require my
Presence in Egypt. Ya
Know what I mean?"

-Paul Pascal


Divide and Rule

(circa 1992)

Havelly pavelly,
Czechoslovakia's
Federal president
Finally quit.

Now they'll be joining the
Geopolitical
Global community,
Lickety split.

-Alex Chaffee

Dysfunctional Society

Unabom Unabomb
Teddy the terrorist (or, "Unabom Theodore")
Cut himself off from his
Country and kin.

Now he's the star of the
National media:
Antifraternally,
Kin turned him in.

-Alex Chaffee


Well, that's that. Who knew it would be so hard to take flight with a pair of dactyls?

Podcast 2B, The Six Easy Steps

In this podcast-
-Percy Bysshe Shelley is Bitchin'!
-A chicken powered computer...
-Flies discuss philosophy...
-Learn how to breakdance. (that's the "six easy steps")
-The Super Bowl Mumble (go bears)
-and of course, more of the funky Tuba that you've been asking for.

Check it out! Podcast 2B, The Six Easy Steps

My Odeo Channel (odeo/ac9014eb50428c01)

Podcast 2B is done, but Ourmedia is down

Ok, so I spent the last five days toiling over this new podcast, titled, "The Six Easy Steps", and as I'm getting ready to publish it in the wee hours of the morning today, I find that Ourmedia.org (where I host my files) is currently down.
I think that this may be the straw that breaks the camel's back, and pushes me to finally get the website up and running.
More details to come soon.

In the meantime, you can hear two of the new songs that will be featured in the podcast on my myspace profile.

http://www.myspace.com/aaroneoustruths

"Six Steps", and "P.B. Shelley" are both new. (as in, created this week)

Oh, and in case you were wondering why that youtube link for "The Super Bowl Mumble" doesn't work, it's because we're being sued by the guys who own the rights to "The Super Bowl Shuffle" for copyright infringement. What fun.
It's a bogus claim, but it makes life more interesting for us. Oh, the goings on in a capitalist society sure are entertaining.

Anyways, look for the new podcast within the next 24 hours.
-Aaron

The Bears are going to the Super Bowl, and I am going on TV

So, the Bears won!
Because of this, I'll be performing "The Super Bowl Mumble" Live with Yuri Lane on WGN Chicago on Monday at 11:30am.
We'll also be on NBC at 4pm.
I play the Tuba, and Yuri is the Human Beatbox
Check out his website: www.yurilane.com

Go Bears!

New podcast, comin' out tonight

I'm currently cooking up Podcast 2B, "Six Easy Steps"
It should be out on the ether and available for your listening pleasure by late this evening.

Bonjour,
-Aaroneous

I am not what you think I once are

So, in my inebriation this evening, I decided to walk the line.
Enjoy, you crazies...

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:	Zuno, Conqueror of the deep. All shall fear me or be stupid bastards.
Birthday:	1492, whilst sailing the ocean, blue.
Birthplace:	West of the Mississippi. That's all that matters, really.
Current Location:	Lower Mesopotamia
Eye Color:	Water
Hair Color:	Lion
Height:	6'0
Right Handed or Left Handed:	What do you call a deer that uses both hooves equally? Bambidextrous
Your Heritage:	Amoeba
The Shoes You Wore Today:	The same thing we do every night, Pinky, try to take over the world
Your Weakness:	Swedish Baronesses... and thumbtacks
Your Fears:	Whalers, and the occasional shark
Your Perfect Pizza:	Krill, lots of Krill. But no anchovies.
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	Master gravity. But that probably won't happen.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	What is this "Instant Messenger" you speak of? It's instant, you say? Perhaps this could be of use to us...
Thoughts First Waking Up:	Oh shitballs- I gotta piss
Your Best Physical Feature:	My 12-foot long prehensile tail
Your Bedtime:	1974
Your Most Missed Memory:	it's gone. I can't find it.
Pepsi or Coke:	Urine
MacDonalds or Burger King:	Greenland
Single or Group Dates:	Basmati
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	Smurf Cum
Chocolate or Vanilla:	Strawberry Rhubarb
Cappuccino or Coffee:	Trout
Do you Smoke:	when on fire, yes
Do you Swear:	Fuck
Do you Sing:	yes. Sometimes when I'm on fire I sing my swears.
Do you Shower Daily:	On some days
Have you Been in Love:	I love marine mammals
Do you want to go to College:	not tomorrow morning, I don't
Do you want to get Married:	yes, immediately... NOW
Do you belive in yourself:	Who's Aaron? I don't know any Aaron...
Do you get Motion Sickness:	Fuck off
Do you think you are Attractive:	Do Monkeys dream?
Are you a Health Freak:	perhaps a healthy freak...
Do you get along with your Parents:	I have no parents. I reproduce by mitosis.
Do you like Thunderstorms:	A-rip roarin' holler!
Do you play an Instrument:	Yes, many. My favorite of which being the Tuba.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	aye
In the past month have you Smoked:	I cought fire yesterday. The burns are healing.
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	No. I would never do such a thing. How dare you ask such a thing. Shame on you.
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	Tomorrow I'm scheduled for Tea with the Queen at 4.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	What's a mall?
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	No, but let me tell you about where I stand on foreign policy...
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	um... yes, we'll call it "sushi"
In the past month have you been on Stage:	I don't ever do anything like that. People frighten me.
In the past month have you been Dumped:	Never spend the night in a garbage can. It only ends badly.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	I'm always skinny dipping.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	the fires from a thousand suns
Ever been Drunk:	that's just a stupid question
Ever been called a Tease:	tag, you're it.
Ever been Beaten up:	yes. Usually by my self
Ever Shoplifted:	Only when I'm feeling really strong
How do you want to Die:	I will never die, I will merely keep dividing until all the sugar in the bottle is gone, then I will be consumed in a fiery night of passion, and maybe get laid.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	22 feet. I still got some growing to do.
What country would you most like to Visit:	Zanzibar, to meet the Zanzibarbarians
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:	black
Favourite Hair Color:	scilia aren't really a color
Short or Long Hair:	very, very short
Height:	(actually, length) 80-100 feet
Weight:	90 tons
Best Clothing Style:	Blue whales don't wear clothes
Number of Drugs I have taken:	well, maybe a topical sedative, to attach the radio tag
Number of CDs I own:	Blue Whales don't buy Cds
Number of Piercings:	One, the radio tag
Number of Tattoos:	Blue Whales don't get Tattoos... yet
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	what is the square root of 12,396? Tell me now ...or die!
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

Lord of the Muppets

So someone pasted together some clips from Fellowship of the Ring, and underscored it with the "Muppet Show" theme song. This is the most amusing thing I've seen in several weeks.
I especially like Boromir playing Gonzo's trumpet at the end.

Raffi and The Space Whales

I did this a while ago.
Humpback whales are cool. The sombrero galaxy is cool. Hence, they fit together.
Oh, and also, I feel it should be noted that Raffi is on MySpace.
Like millions of other kids, I grew up listening to "Baby Beluga", "Bananaphone", and other such songs. He's a great guy, and really cares about the world's children.
Also, in a recent interview with the Boston Globe, he said this:

Q: Your new album is called "Resisto Dancing". What does it mean, and why did you feel the need to produce it?

A: Psychologist Abraham Maslow wrote that healthy individuation requires resisting unhealthy enculturation. Add the dance element and you've got a metaphor for creatively (and nonviolently) resisting unhealthy "bottom line" culture. It's about being true to one's inner self. It's a fusion of Dylan, hip-hop, funk and Shakespeare in a genre I call "Hip Hope."

Q: Is it hard being known as the "Baby Beluga" man?

A: It's fun! Fans I meet get jazzed about the new book and CD. They're invited to join the compassion revolution, to help turn this world around, for their and their children's futures ... to make like belugas and form pods, be pod-pals, pod-cast, and pod-ruple their power to embrace a compassionate revolution in values.

Yes, let it be recognized that Raffi himself is an advocate of Podcasting.
Raffi, you forever have my undying love and devotion. Rock on, dude.

Raffi's MySpace is here:
www.myspace.com/raffichildrensmusic
I urge you to check out "Bananaphone" in particular. The world is a much better place now that that song exists.

The new Official Incurable Allure of Carrots graphic

so I decided to sit down and spend a couple of hours cooking up a decent graphic for the podcast. This be it.
Soon, it shall accompany the podcast in the hot musical womb that is your iTunes.

Also, I'd like to say thank you to everyone who's been listening to the podcast. The numbers just keep getting bigger!
If you enjoy what you hear, please let me know at
Aaron@collaboraction.org

Podcast 2A

Yep, Here it be. Podcast 2A. Fresh from the garden and ready for your ears.
A short rundown of what you'll hear in this here podcast...

-learn how to put on a suit
-hear some funky tuba
-the hero of canton (the man they call Jayne)
-a short story about an absurd lieutenant
-some lilting acoustic guitar
-learn about Saturn's moons
-Mail Call!
-building a rocket ship

Yes, it's all here in Podcast 2A.

(it should also be noted that this podcast has multiple personality disorder)

As always, you can subscribe here:

Subscribe in a reader

Podcast alley

My Podcast Alley feed! {pca-43535ea749c324ad37bf80fd57d96ff8}

The Days of the Week

So sometimes the weekend gets pissed and it goes straight from Saturday to Tuesday, because Sunday and Monday are like: “aaaah, fuck this!” So then it gets around to Wednesday, and Monday’s like, “ah, well fine”, and then Sunday’s like, “shit, now I feel unloved.” So it follows up. So then it’s like backwards, and Friday gets depressed, and brings Saturday down with it and it’s all just like whoooooooo!

So it goes Saturday Tuesday Wednesday Monday Sunday Thursday Friday.

Don't do drugs, kids!

The Ride to Kenosha

So, over the past few days, life has been pretty boring for me, seeing that purple left and work is sparse and school's not in session.
So, in an attempt to break out of the boredom, I decided to go to Kenosha, Wisconsin.

"Kenosha, Wisconsin?" you say, "Why would anyone in their right mind want to go there?!!?"

And I reply that, my goal was to get as far away from Chicago for the least amount of money, in one day, round trip. So I got on Metra's website, and learned that Kenosha, Wisconsin, is nearly 70 miles from my apartment.

I jumped onto the Kenosha Area Convention and Visitors bureau, found all the "cool" things to do in Kenosha, fixed up my bike, and started packing.

The goal was to take the train to Kenosha, then bike up the lakefront north for the morning. Take some pictures, blah blah, maybe find a cool coffee shop or cheese place in Kenosha, you know, make a day of it.

Well, the only morning train leaving for Kenosha left Ogilvie Station at 6:35am, so I set my alarm for dark thirty.

At 5:45 in the morning, on January 2nd, I'm riding east on Grand St. It's dark, tired, and fucking freezing. I hit a notch in the road and my front tire goes flat.

So, after much profanity, and a new innter-tube, I am on the 8:35 to Waukegan, Illinois, which is 20 miles south of Kenosha.

Upon arrival in Waukegan, I realized why I'd never heard of it before.
The only things open were the gas station and the ComEd electrics plant sporting signs saying

"NO TRESSPASSING! POSITIVELY! Violators may be shot."

Even the beach was closed.

"DANGER! PELLIGRO!
ASBESTOS HAS BEEN FOUND ON THESE BEACHES!
KEEP OFF!"

So, I bought a map of northern Illinois, and over the next 6 hours, I biked the 20 miles through the Illinois Beach State Park.

Outside of Waukegan, the scenery was gorgeous, so I broke out the camera, and took a ton of pictures.









Upon arriving in Kenosha, I was very cold, for although I'd worn quite a few layers, It was January 2nd, and global warming notwithstanding, I was freezing my ever-loving Heiny off. Pretty much everything was closed for the holiday, which apparently lasts longer the farther north you go, but I found an open coffee shop called "Common Grounds", got a cup, and read my book for a couple of hours.

Kenosha was gorgeous. A nice little town. But it struck me a bit off guard when I rode out the the lighthouse at the end of the pier and saw, spraypainted on the concrete, a swastika and "Keep Kenosha White!!!"
I wasn't expecting it. Guess it gave me something to think about on the train ride home.






Well, that's that. Hope you enjoyed the photos.